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Cemetery Man (1994) * Weird & Wacky *

Poor guy. First he buries em, then he shoots em in the head...

Genre: Fantasy Zombie Horror Comedy Romance (Italy, France, Germany)

Starring: Rupert Everett (Shrek 2; The Madness Of King George), François Hadji-Lazaro

Directed By: Michele Soavi (Stage Fright; Demons 3)

Overview: We follow the lonely life of a cemetary groundskeeper as he kills the zombies that re-awaken after being interred.


The acting is oddly varied. This is the kind of movie where you wonder if this was done on purpose (which I think it was) and comes just shy of pulling off brilliance, or one of those films with terrible actors being guided by a directionless director. It's not quite six of one / half a dozen of the other, but I'll just say that this movie's acting is hammy yet good and oddly enthralling, in that "What the Hell is going on?" kind of way.
Rating: 7


This is amazing! A low budget film with real effort put into the look, the scenes, and especially the angles and the art. There's a definite touch of Old European High Art in this low butdge zombie flick, and I was pleasantly surprised. I thought low-budget film classics like El Mariachi had to be appreciated for their story and script. After seeing this, no way... Get a guy who knows how to use a camera.
Rating: 8


The script... Is it bad or is it unpolished genius? I can't decide. The writing is as strange as everything else in this movie, and it's funny too, in that aformentioned "What the Hell is going on?" way. On occasion though, it's so confusing as to be laughable... and that makes it funny. See the problem here? Just submit...
Rating: 6


The plot is very, very, very, very strange. Not because there's a woman obsessed with death who keeps recurring in different personas. Not because our hero's little assistant is akin to an Igor gimp with half a brain... but because when you THINK the plot is going one way, it takes you another, and when a series of events should conclude rather logically, the story goes intentionally on the wierdest path you could imagine. So much so that often you might find yourself lost. You have to submit to the folly that is the path of this plot, but after all was said and done it makes very little sense, especially the ending. For lack of direction is gets lower marks, but for being outrageously wacky it regains.
Rating: 6


WEEEIIIRD! You think you're going one way, then it runs off into the wilderness. The zombie mood is consistent throughout, yes, but how disjointed is this? You'll be more confused, yet amused. It's a messed up sort of dark quirky comedy, or it's a hammy, occasionally laughable zombie film with some interesting characters. You decide. Either way, it's prevasive.
Rating: 8

I'll give em this much, this chick is super awesome
I'll give em this much, this chick is super awesome

Overall Rating: 70% (Dig It)

The scene where the girl meets the Igor looking sidekick (seen above) is quite odd. She smiles at him. He barfs on her because he's so nervous. She falls down and laughs then right away gets up and jumps on her buddy's motorbike and they drive off, all in 20 seconds. This strangeness happens throughout the film, and ultimately it will always be remembered. But is it good? Let's just say it's confusing.

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How come you haven't reviewed the movie Kiss Me Guido? Its a real gem!!!

Yes, there is a part right in the middle, after she dies for the "first" time, that the movie just derails. After that, with the multiple murder that Rupert commits and Igor's girlfriend, the movie just loses its way. It's kind of like From Dusk Till Dawn. For the first half, it's a great, unique movie. But when they get to the middle, or the defining moment, it's flubbed badly.

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