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Last Tango in Paris (1972)

"Hi mom, allow me to introduce you to Paris..."
"Hi mom, allow me to introduce you to Paris..."

Genre: Romance Drama (Italy, France)

Starring: Marlon Brando (Apocalypse Now A Streetcar Named Desire), Maria Schneider

Directed By: Bernardo Bertolucci (The Last EmperorThe Conformist)

Overview: A man tormented by the suicide of his wife finds an island of solace in an old apartment. In this place he and a woman he insists remain a stranger hide from the world and the past in a furtive romance.


The acting was erratic and strange. I don't know if the director intended Marlon to act like some whacked out Kurtz-like Apocalypse Now reject but I didn't buy it. As for Maria, her character bothered me to the degree that I wondered who did the casting. And finally and worst of all that Tom character was so hammy and melodramatic, I've decided this movie is a stinking pile of Eurotrash.
Rating: 4


The film does have that old classic movie air to it. It's dark, they're in Paris, in a run down old building. You know what? This bored me. The Paris scenes weren't pretty displays or interesting panoramics and the interior of that place was bland. To hell with symbolism, it wasn't nice.
Rating: 4


"I'm gonna make the pig vomit in your face and you'll be fucking it while it dies."

The writing had some of the weirdest lines it.  You know what? There's dark, there's perverse and then there's what you say out loud to your girlfriend. All throughout the movie we are given hints as to what's going on, with all the rest being messed up post-modern tripe that you weren't meant to understand, because the director is stroking his own ego. Stupid Eurotrash.
Rating: 4


The plot starts off mildly interesting, the whole mystery as to why he's all about escapism, but we find out, and the woman he's with is a twit and he's a goof. It end in the stupidest manner you could possibly imagine. You know what don't bother seeing this piece of crap. She shoots him cause he follows her home, but not in a stalker way, just friendly, but she shoots him, and it makes no sense. These people are completely illogical and insane.
Rating: 3


People told me, "Oh that butter scene, it's all about the butter scene!" That scene was quite lame actually. The weird one to watch is the pig-vomit-death-bleak-void dialogue while she's fingering Brando's anus. Seriously stupid. The symbolism of the apartment and that whole side of the mood was decently maintained though, but too little too late.
Rating: 5

My first issue is that this girl is humping such a dirty old man as that old fart.
My first issue is that this girl is humping such a dirty old man as that old fart.

Overall Rating: 40% (The Last Somethin' Alright)

What a piece of dogshit. This director quite obviously was at his height of pretension when he made this and thought he could get away not with making a deep movie about a man torn apart, but a self-indulgent hunk of crap to see if he could pull it off and fool all of us into buying it. Well this is a classic, so he's won, but I'm not buying it one bit. Anyone who tells you this is good is also telling you that he sees the Emperor's New Clothes.

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I was not a fan either.  I don't get it.

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