Friday The 13th, Part 9: Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Sometimes you have to think about if the mask will shrink in the wash before you buy it. Thanks for the valuable lesson, Jason!

My favourite Blog-A-Thons are the ones I go into with an already copious amount of knowledge on the subject. 1927 was a great subject, Alfred Hitchcock, there's one I know a ton about.

And today, on this most fortuitous day, Friday the 13th, well children, here's a day I most certainly know quite a bit about - (a moment of silence for poor Port Dover).

Before I give you a review of the ninth film in the Jason saga, let me invite you to read some insightful tidbits - if I do say so myself - on Jason Vorhees in a couple pieces I call:

Friday The 13th: A Study In The Evolution Of The Screen Slasher

Part I                                         Part II

Hope you like it. There's links to my reviews of the first eight Friday the 13ths in those pieces too.

Of course, given the need to add to my knowledge, I checked out Friday The 13th, Part 9 this week and I thought I'd share with you a little review... it's what I do:

Hot n' wet, yeah, but maybe a little too loose for my tastes...

Genre: Action Slasher Horror Serial

Starring: John D. LeMay ("Friday the 13th: The Series"), Steven Williams ("21 Jump Street"; Bloodfist VII: Manhunt)

Directed By: Adam Marcus

Overview: When the FBI sets up a sting and finally destroys the evil Jason Vorhees once and for all, bounty hunter Creighton Duke knows that it's just the beginning of a new reign of terror.

Gawd, where to start? Let's start with the corporate whoredom shall we? In Friday The 13th, Part V: A New Beginning, the premise was introduced that Jason Vorhees' killer would be infected with becoming the next Jason like a bad case of the clap. Don't worry it's not a spoiler. Fans were so outraged at the idea, that it didn't continue on... until 1993 with Jason Goes to Hell. In this, we see for the first time, Jason killed at the beginning of a film. Riddled with bullets and mortared with ordinance, Jason is blown apart and shipped off to the coroner's table for final processing. The coroner sees the enlarged heart beginning to beat and is overwhelmed by a sudden urge to consume the blackness within it in a rather disturbing, graphic rubbery heart-chewing scene. So far so good. Rampage to follow.

Friday the 13th's ninth film is without any doubt nothing more than a ploy at drumming up revenue. I wouldn't go so far as to say it dishonours that which has come before, but it certainly feels much different that what we've grown up on. Before, the Friday the 13th films were pumped out at a frantic pace, usually produced a year after the last with the longest stretch between productions being a mere two years. With The Final Friday, we see a film produced four years after the last one, as though someone picked up something that died just to see if they could revive it... oddly reminiscent of this film's plot. Talk about subtext.

Number 9 stars a 'low-grade' cast of talent, naturally. The performances are typical fromage that are a combination of low-cost actors guided by nobody directors with producers who are surely paid to insist the crew refrain from much needed second takes. For as much as it's a rare treat to see Johnny Depp's cop captain from "21 Jump Street", you won't hear me praising Steven Williams acting.

The premise of possession, transference and repossession is passably decent, but the fact that Jason has an ultimate goal beyond hacking and slashing sin in Crystal Lake introduces concepts that even a devotee like myself found hard to swallow. To think that Jason has a kill list - namely his own relatives, that's just too funny. As for 'magic daggers to kill the beast', well you can kindly thank The Omen for that borrowed piece of plot.

Films like these, aged unwell in the hands of corporations, need to have at least one redeeming factor to make it worthy of viewing and that is in pure entertainment value. The best part of the 80s slasher, kiddies, is when it graduated to the 90s. We can plainly see a difference in the degree of censorship, and what is lacking in continuity and originality is made up for in the wicked awesome gore factor. There's a scene where someone melts that is drawn out in such wonderful detail that even I was repulsed by it, and that's not a small accomplishment. Kudos for that.

Oh and of course, Friday The 13th, Part 9: Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday was fun to mock, for sure.

Oh, he's gonna feel that in the mornin'!

Overall Rating: 50% (Hell is Relative)

Aftertaste:

"Of all the stuff you have to watch on your list and you're putting me through THIS." - Girlfriend of Squish.

God bless her, she doesn't get it. Suffering is our lot. The least you can do is bring others to the misery, as it doth love company so.

This post is part of Final Girl's Friday The 13th Blog-A-Thon. You should definitely take a hack at it.