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Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Bond
James Bond

Posters, however, are trés fickle
Posters, however, are trés fickle

Bond: Sean Connery (Dr. No • Never Say Never Again)

Bond Girl: Tiffany Case  Played By: Jill St. John
Bond SuperVillain: Ernst Stavro Blofeld  Played By:
Charles Gray (The Night of the Generals • Mosquito Squadron)
Bond Villain: Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd  Played By: Bruce Glover (Chinatown • Warlock: The Armageddon) & Putter Smith


Genre: Action Adventure Thriller (UK) 

Directed By: Guy Hamilton (GoldfingerLive and Let Die)

Overview: After James Bond has finally destroyed his enemy, Earnst Stavro Blofeld, he is reassigned to investigate a dimaond smuggling ring. He follows the trail to las vegas, where the diamonds are being used for a far more sinister purpose than expected.

 

Diamonds are Forever is the classic adventure story. Our curs'd McGuffin is a bag of uncut South African diamonds, and we the audience get to see its disastrous travel from point A to its final destination, and the culmination of the mysterious and sinister plot. 'Disastrous' meaning two things…firstly Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint, homo villains extraordinaire, follow the diamonds closely and kill pretty much everyone who lays their hands on them, has the intention of touching them, or who just sort of mentions diamonds in passing. The second reason I use the word disastrous is because frankly, Bond #007 was the first film in the series that had me wondering if I was 'Bonded out'. Yes kiddies, I am not a fan of Connery's "last" Bond film, because I felt that Diamonds Are Forever went on forever.

None of the recent classic conventions are really in this one. As an 'exotic locale' Bond goes to Vegas - a very accurate likeness by the British filmmakers of the worst America has to offer, both in excesses and attitudes, though going a tad overboard as a grand caricature. As soon as James sets foot on American soil, he's basically greeted by Chicago gangsters and flamboyantly rude women. The epic battles I've grown to appreciate are non-existent, and for as entertaining as it is to watch two men dripping pure evil as they go from assassination to assassination, their witty quips seems so forced that either these two madmen are teetering ever closer to the edge with poor coping mechanisms, or they're just as clunky as the rest of this 7 million dollar production. Instead of going any amount of depth into their characters, we see them holding hands. Instead of having evil nuances explained, we're dragged from location to repetitious action-packed *yawn* location until the climax, which is so impressive that it almost makes up for the meat of the film.

No, Connery's 'basically last' Bond film is not without its heights. Including the grand finale at an ever- original locale of an oil rig, we're blessed with a dramatic opener (complete with secret mousetraps), amazing car chase stunts on the famous Strip, and a campy-to-the-max fight scene with Bambi and Thumper, acrobatic women who teach a man what's what. All in all, certainly not one of the best Bonds out there. Sadly it came sooner than I had expected, but I sensed mediocity before The Living Daylights.

No not two Bond Girls, but they do give James quite a ride
No not two Bond Girls, but they do give James quite a ride

Performance: 8 Cinematography: 8 Script: 7 Plot: 7 Mood: 7

Overall Rating: 74% (In The Rough)
SuperSpyStats

Personal bodycount: 6

Foiled Assassinations: 1

Near Misses: 1

Dames Bedded: 1

Martinis Drank: 0

What's all this?

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