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Squish's Semi-Annual Best And Worst (Summer 2008)

Since summer begins on a good note, Squish's Best and Worst Picks entry for the summer always begins with glee.

The way this works is simple. Over the last six months, I've watched and reviewed many a film, and now I'm going to tell you, out of all those, which were my favorites. Perfect for you occasional visitors who want to know what to watch. As always the title links to my original review.

The best movies I've seen in the last six months are:

#1 -The Dark Knight (2008) 92% (And A Long Dark Knight It Should Be)
No reason, my large-grinned friend!
No reason, my large-grinned friend!

Far be it from me to go against the grain with this one, but even I was surprised to find it rated #1 on this list this time around. I had hopes it would beat out Titanic's $600 million record for highest box office grossing film ever, but it looks like I'll have to wait for something hammier than a Romantic Disaster Period Piece (is there such a thing any hammier?!). But I disgress. Splurge a little, go see an IMAX film. It's the summer's must-see film of the decade for a reason. And you'll do your part in putting it in film history record books.

#2 - The Stranger (1946) 90% (Get To Know It Better)
 What eyes you have.. you even say they're those of...
What eyes you have.. you could even say they're those of...
.

When I think Sleeper hit, I may very well use The Stranger as my example for now on. We have here a story of a man in a small new England town searching for a Nazi officer who has escaped justice for his war crimes.  Film Noir. Unfortunately you'll find no slapping, but with this caliber of dialogue it packs enough wallop to make up for it.


#3 - Taxi Driver (1976) 86% (Pull On Up)
Bicklemania!
Bicklemania!

.
Travis Bickle is the ultimate heroic anti-hero. #47 on the American Film Institute's Best 100 films of the last 100 years too? Well what are you waiting for? Yeah, I'm talkin to you.
.
And now for the obscure foreign film high-art fan in all of you...
.


#4 - Vital (2004) 86% (On Art's Pulse)
morgues CAN be the site of epiphanies
Morgues CAN be the site of epiphanies
.
Vital stars Japan's every-film-ever-made-today actor, Tadanobu Asano. It's the story of a man with amnesia who's current phase in medical school is anatomy. As he dissects the corpse, so too does he explore his clouded memories. With every cut going deeper than the last, we learn of the tragedy that caused his amnesia.beautiful and artistic vision with strong themes and a treat for the eye, Vital is one of those lovely surprises that makes it all worth it.
 

#5 - The Orphanage (2007) 86% (Don't Watch It With Your Mom)

Nothing warms me like a gorgeous film poster
Nothing warms me like a gorgeous film poster

Creepy says it all. Wait no, there's more. Thrillers have a way of being too slow for the first half, and you've won much of the battle when you make the beginning suspenseful without being boring. Then adding a conclusion that ties everything together and pulls your heart-strings while creeping you out with that awesome "don't go in there!" sensation? Well that gets you noticed. Thanks The Orphanage, thank you very much.

Now the poo-pile.

Now time for the best of the Worst:

#5 - Suburban Commando (1991) 66% (Quiet and Relaxing, But Don't Go Commando)
Scary, but in a different way...
Scary, but in a different way...

Well it comes as no surprise that a Hulk Hogan family film should be at the bottom of the list, but it's innocuous and kids might even like it and that's ok. We were young once, and this is what we were watching. I'd mock you for that, but that would include me.
 
#4 - Dracula (1931) 62% (Once Bitten...) 

Mlenh! Mlenh! ...Einh...
Mlenh! Mlenh! ...Einh...

It was putting Dracula on my worst 5 films ever list that made me realize that yes, I do review films less these days, and I'm not really pointing out terrible films as part of a rant as often as I'd like to. For that reason, I'll give this selection the grain of salt treatment. Yet, I can't help but point out that I thought Suburban Commando was a stronger film, technically? Ouch Tod Browning. What the hell is your problem? Actually I illustrate in great detail what the problem was in the original review. Worthy of a read, even if I do say so myself.

 

#3 - Godzilla's Revenge (1969) 58% (It May repeat On You A Little)
And sometimes the universe is set right...
And sometimes the universe is set right...

You know, that's ok. It's lame, even by puffy suit monster standards, but that's... ok.

#2 - Viva Las Vegas (1964) 54%  (Lost Out In Vegas)
Ann-Margaret the twitchy, gitchy awkward sex symbol.
Ann-Margaret the twitchy, gitchy awkward sex symbol.

Oh Elvis, why do you torment me so. Maybe I'll have to give King Creole a chance, but IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE. Creepy in a bad way. and what a waste of Blu-Ray Cherry.

And finally, the worst, certainly one to avoid:

#1 - Permanent Vacation (1980) 48% (You Know, In The Way Death Is)
Oh no by all means, keep walking around silently and aimlessly, don't let my need for entertainment stop you.
Oh no by all means, keep walking around silently and aimlessly, don't let my need for entertainment stop you.

Think classic 'worst that indy student feature has to offer'. Perhaps for you it's a different title. For me it's this 45-minute-too long borefest. Shall I cut Jarmusch a break for it being his first film? Hell yeah, he gets his own page but it doesn't mean I'm going to be nice to the guy. Here's a tip to all you students out there: people don't like watching aimless people amble aimlessly. If you absolutely need this character in your film, make him an extra and load him full of the subtext you want, but make him a three-second walkthrough, for the love of GOD.

See ya next time kiddies!

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