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Genre: Mystery Horror Thriller
Starring: Stefania Casini (Andy Warhol's Dracula • 1900), Jessica Harper (Shock Treatment • Pennies from Heaven)
Directed By: Dario Argento (Profondo rosso • Creepers)
Overview: When an American girl joins a German dance academy, she soon discovers that reluctant students are disappearing, all the clues leading back to a coven of witches.
It's critically acclaimed. It's got awards up the wazoo, it's considered classic, standard Genre-advancing fare, and still I can't help but be bored to tears by Suspiria.
In all fairness, perhaps what I needed was a nice copy, something in widescreen, something that was colour corrected to enhance the oversaturated colours, something that would properly convey the visually unsettling mood inspired by Avant-Garde Expressionistic film... you know instead of the $1.99 bargain bin at Musicworld's Grand Bankruptcy Sale.
No. No I won't blame the copy I watched. I'll stand by my dissenting vote that shall go against the grain of critics everywhere and declare proudly that I've endured the worst Silent and early talkie film has had to offer and have been able to enjoy them regardless.
Yes, yes, of course there's moment deserving of praise. Goblin is one hell of an amazing band, and the work they've done on my favorite horror film wasn't a fluke. The musical treatment of Suspiria is indeed inspirational. The particularly gory deaths in the beginning of the film are also quite nice, what with faces full of panes of glass and the like, but all these praises are begrudgingly given, as they may serve to dilute the original message: Suspiria will sit at the height of cinematic borefestitude as a shining example of what the worst of the best has to offer.
Performance: 7 Cinematography: 8 Script: 7 Plot: 6 Mood: 7
Overall Rating: 70% (Sux-spiria)
My favourite parts of Suspiria were the ones I remembered seeing as a child, and that has now been sullied. Luckily, my memories of listening to the soundtrack on my Walkman are still cozy reminders of my high-school days.
What I find most ironic is the tagline: The Only Thing More Terrifying Than The Last 12 Minutes Of This Film Is Having To Sit Through The First 92.
Did I paraphrase that?