A Christmas Story (1983) * Favorite Review*

 

Wheeee prescription drugs for Christmas!!!
Wheeee!!! Prescription drugs for Christmas!!!

Genre: Family Comedy (USA, Canada)

Starring: Peter Billingsley, Darren McGavin (The Man With The Golden Arm"The Six Million Dollar Man")

Directed By: Bob Clark (Porky'sBlack Christmas)

Overview: Christmas is closer everyday! We follow Ralphie, his family, his friends and his bullies as the greatest day of the year approaches, but what Ralphie wants most of all is Daisy, the Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.

Ah childhood, the wonderful memories it brings. Let us thank such films as A Christmas Story for reminding us of the good times, of films that are nothing but pure memorabilia distilled in a heavenly 90-minute package. What I found most enjoyable about this film is how the mood conveyed is more like a series of vignettes on an era rather than a plot-intensive tale. Through Ralphie's humourous perspective we explore his family, his school life and the season, and for as much as the narration may seem a little overzealously dramatic at times, what twelve-year-old doesn't exaggerate? IMHO, the film should be far more canon during the televised Christmas season than it is... given that I've never seen it on TV, or really even heard of it.

Yet, A Christmas Story does bring moments of disappointment, mostly when I consider that this is a life I could possibly have had, were I not some ever-traveling (and thus friendless) armed forces only-child to divorced parents who preferred throwing plates to parties, and whose stepfather made it a personal mission to become a pure, malignant force of unadulterated torment and abuse.

Here's hoping that now-divorced, impotent, Velcro-shoed, gorilla-faced oaf continues on his steady course of dying lonely and alone. Did I mention he was impotent? I didn't want you to miss that.

Ah family... a clear reminder of the reason we get an extra day off on those Easter / Thanksgiving / Christmas holidays we have to spend with them - to make up for the day we wasted.

Thank you, A Christmas Story for being so perfect. It'll make you forget the fact that you're an apathetic Gen X dysfunctional product-of-society, and everything you've done to avoid becoming that very thing only made you hurtle faster to what you've come to detest about yourself.

In short, the beauty and innocent fun that comes from A Christmas Story is the best time you'll have with a shotgun in your mouth.

I actually did this as a child, however I had the good sense to exhale warm air while pulling at the same time. Duh.
I actually did this as a child, however I had the good sense to exhale warm air while pulling at the same time. Duh.

Performance: 8 Cinematography: 8 Script: 8 Plot: 8 Mood: 9

Overall Rating: 82% (Tell It Again!)
Aftertaste:

I suppose the greatest fault this film has is that 20 years later, this director looks like he's completely sold out. Baby Geniuses, The Karate Dog... these are the films this man is directing now. Did I forget to mention SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2? #18 on IMDb's bottom 100 films? Which is alright I suppose, it's not like he could have predicted such a poor reception - it's not like the original was #61 on the Bottom 100 list or anything. Good for you Bob Clark, from some of the most iconic yardsticks of my childhood to a laughing stock. I hope that stink you're rolling in is filthy richitute, and I also hope you can sleep at night, you chump.

Whatever you do don't tell me you're doing what you love.

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I must see this each chrsitmas. I love all of those comedy momets. According to this movie, it seems that easter and christmas come on the same day. *laughs* And the tongue on pole part, classic funny but a little sad to watch. Seeing him suffer, but i can't help but giglge when he' pinning his arms around. And lil Randy, "I can't get up!" *laughter*

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