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Tripping Stardust Through Fetid Film - Part V

Well hello again kiddies,

Looks like I've found in my Friday night ritual something to write about. In what is sure to become a regular segment of mine, these Tripping Stardust moments are quick jabs to let you all know how amazingly fun it is to have interactive film night with really cheesy Kung-Fu movies, low-budget Italian Horror or 80s action flicks. Yes, this event that I have named Hecklefest (a weekly social adventure into a schlock-out with my cock out) is usually painful, though sometimes we find awesomeness beyond compare and it's time I tell you again what three films need to be noticed while gazing at the bottom of the barrel.

And then there's the little accidental moments that prove the existence of God.

Super Inframan (1975) Action Sci-Fi: The Chinese are effin' nuts, but at least so are their movies. In this, China's first ever superhero film, the story is all about defeating forces so power-hungry that their master plan is to take over the world. In what looks a lot too much like the Captain America origin, our high-ranking military officer hero volunteers to be subjected to an experiment that turns him into a superhero. With these new kick-you-in-the-face powers, Super Inframan goes after the demon Princess Elezebub via her ice demons and skeleton minions.

Best scene ever? The screenshot above does so very little to do justice to one of the most memorable scenes at any hecklefest ever. These monsters, having just kidnapped a high-ranking official, are taking him via speedboat to their island base. While they zip along the water, they begin hitting a few waves, causing them to bob in unison. When the disco-funk bass begins, what should be a frightening transport turns into three hip cats taking in the sites and jiving to the boomingest beat in cinematic history.

Budget - So much spent on dry ice, paper maché and silver lammé, I have no idea how they came to afford film stock and boat rentals...

Aerobicide also has the added benefit of making you tingle in those place.
Aerobicide also has the added benefit of making you tingle in those place.

Aerobicide: Killer Workout (1986) Horror: The premise is simple. Killings are going on inside a health club. All while 80s-clad aerobics instructors are training buxom leotarded ladies, bodies start showing up, killed by a psycho wielding a huge... safety pin.

Best scene ever? Well aside from many a scene with a nude lady in a spa's shower or at her locker, the moment that really did it for me was around the fourth murder, when the coroner's men cart off yet another body. One of them turns to our characters and says, "well, see you tomorrow!" God forbid they close down the place.

Budget - Unitards are cheap. So are Z-grade actors from the 80s.

Meow, but from spaceLao Mao The Cat (1992) Action Sci-Fi: Directed by Ngai Kai Lam, the force behind Ricky-Oh: The Story of Ricky, we have a story that is nuts from the get go. An intergalactic space cat is the hero come to Earth to defeat a fat-tentacled fungus beast. Batshit insanity ensues.

Budget - For cheap Hong Kong film, the production value is pretty sweet actually. Plenty gore to go around, but all low tech latex... which is great cause 90s CGI? Eeesh.

Best scene ever? Well they're all fantastic, and this is consistently amazing throughout, from exploding cash registers and gory tentacle death with eyeball juice to slow-motion, up-close, automatic fire. But there's no doubt of what is the very best moment. In fact the battle Lao Mao has against a canine foe is available for your delicious viewing pleasure.

Have fun with your film. It doesn't always have to be Truffaut.

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