An Open Letter to the Guy Who Took All Those Horror Films at This Weekend's Garage Sale

Dear Sir,

As you may not know, I also attended the 50 block-wide event known as the Great Glebe Garage Sale this Saturday in downtown Ottawa's posh neighbourhood. You may seem rather proud of the fact that mere moments before I arrived at the best table in the whole event, you showed up and started pawing your grubby mitts all over the VHS Horror film tapes priced at 3 for $5.

From what my sources tell me, your lascivious, herpetic hands corrupted the cases of the eight or so Horror films that you manhandled, hence making them unpurchasable by anyone but you. You may think your molestation of these hours of preferred entertainment rather sly, however I will have you know that though your diseased meat hooks made away with what rightfully was mine, you have not won the War of Bargain Film Prices.

For three years, I have been attending the Great Glebe Garage Sale and, through my efforts this year, was able to find 28 films throughout the day to add to my collection, all at prices inferior to the cost of rental, including Romero's Martin, Ferris Buller's Day Off, and Roman Polanski's Repulsion starring Catherine Deneuve on DVD.

While you may have done well groping the B-Grade horror films I most likely would have purchased, your blind focus on Horror film made for the great oversight of the classic war films that were on that very table, including Force 10 from Navarone, Paths of Glory and They Were Expendable.

In closing, sir, I will allow you to gloat over your purchases unabashed with the hope that next time we meet, you will be a far more formidable foe.

Fare thee well, oh esteemed collegue,

Squish :P