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Deep Throat (1972)

blowhard
Linda's such a blowhard
.

Genre: Porn

Starring: Linda Lovelace (Dog 1; Sexual Ecstasy of the Macumba) , Harry Reams (The Devil in Miss Jones; Sherlick Holmes)

Directed By: Gerard Damiano (The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue; Lessons in Lust)

Overview: An unsatisfied woman begins a quest to find her happy place.

Performance:

There was a line spoken by Linda Lovelace that made me realize she was an actress of a higher calibre than most of her adult superstar counterparts today or even back then. Ron Jeremy's got nuthin' on this girl, but sadly she never made a career out of it, save that doggy flick she did... urgh. I guess turning Christian and renouncing your previous career would do that... Look, you expected it to be poorly acted, but did you expect poor direction? How hard is it to get a girl to wipe the snot off her face? Nasty, seriously.
Rating: 4

Cinematography:

Get this: Eisensteinian montage. When the moment we've all been waiting for cums, cuts to fireworks, cuts to bells ringing, cuts to a rocket blasting off. Then the we have rapid-fire almost single-frame cuts between the rocket and the facial. Talk about art, it was so weird coming out of left field like that. Aside from that we have all the classic shooting elements of piston cam, extreme close-up muff-diving, and even nurses outfits!
Rating: 7

Script:

Hahahaha, Yeah right.
Rating: 5

Plot:

Don't mind the spoilers kiddies, that ain't what'll stop you from enjoying this... We start off with a way too long introduction / credits shot of Linda driving in her car. Where to? Her house, where her roommate is gettin' eaten out by the grocery delivery guy. "You want some of this? They're your groceries too!". Linda declines, and later reveals that though she enjoys sex, she's never really had an orgasm. Well the roommate puts a call-out to prove her wrong, followed by a scene where the roomie's gettin' it in the front, and Linda's getting it in the rear... of the house I mean.. or do I? No luck again, so Linda heads off to the doctor to see if he can fix her button. Turns out he discovers that her button is in fact in the back of her throat, chucking as she cries, "That might be funny to you, but what would you do if your balls were in your ear?" "That would be bad, but at least I could hear myself coming!" Hee hee! Anyways the doctor teaches her a little trick whereby she reaches that lovely little place way deep down the back of her throat. She is eternally grateful, and becomes his on-the-road therapist, helping herself as she helps other patients with sexual dysfucktion. It wouldn't be the first hour-long film to run on just one gag... pardon the pun! I guess I won't ruin the end for you, where she agrees to marry the last patient she blows ever so completely.
Rating: 4

Mood:

That's right, snot-face. Nothing does sexy like a shiny line of ick prominent in center frame to end a film. I'll tell you something else, I'm glad they crack out the razor nowadays cause hairy is scary. I'll give it this much: it's 70s! Check out that Porn 'stache! Now you know why they call it that! Oh wait, I just remembered a scene where "I'd Like To Buy The World A Coke" is playing while a patient crams a test tube up Linda, pours Coke in it (pull tab!) and sucks it out with a straw, proving that Coke is indeed 'It'!
Rating: 6

MOO STACHE!
MOO STACHE!

Overall Rating: 52% (Classic, But Without Any Real Depth)
Aftertaste:

As it was explained in the documentary Inside Deep Throat, this is the most profitable film ever made in history. Given the low budget and the frequent daily viewings in theaters for years, this infamous film is one big money-maker. I've finally seen more than just that famous shot, and if anyone tells you that it's nothing special, get the hell away from that guy cause he's probably into the sheizer.
Either way, it's neat to look at, but sexy isn't what Deep Throat is about.

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Squish... at first I was disappointed that I couldn't partake in watching this film too, then I thought about that awkwardness that can arise when watching such films with your sexual ilk, and then about how it was probably a special night with G.O.S., and was glad i wasn't there.... even still, I'd love to join you sometime in watching these timeless classics. You know my film viewage is definitely not up to par. And let's make it one of these off the wall films too. Big ups buddy!


Feel free to take my place anytime to watch these classics with Squish, I think I spent more time doing Sudoku puzzles than actually watching the movie...yeah, it was that interesting! And the hair, Oh my God...don't get me started!

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